Resolve
by Lo.MADLY.vE
Summary: Wiping the sweat from his brow he steeled himself for another day obeying the warden commander.  That thought churned his stomach, why he followed the woman who murdered his father and any chance for him to redeem his family's name, he didn't know.


**(I know, should be studying for exams right? Well this kept tugging at me until I wrote it, it is just a random oneshot that planted itself in my head. Nathaniel always made me want to punch him but at the same time I just wanted him to see him happy. Anyhow sorry if it isn't that good, I wrote it when I was tired. DA content owned by Bioware.)**

He ran a hand through his dark hair running blunted nails across his scalp trying to forget the haunting images of the darkspawn that plagued him that night. Wiping the sweat from his brow he steeled himself for another day of obeying the warden commander.

That thought churned his stomach. Why he followed the woman who murdered his father and any chance for him to redeem his family's name, he didn't know.

And yet he couldn't hate her and that thought alone set his heart in stone.

"Nathaniel?" Her timid voice drifted through the bedroom door, not wanting to barge in. "You alright this morning?"

"I'll be out soon." He grunted harshly.

He sighed and gathered his leathers slinging a worn bow onto his back. Like a good warden he met up with her downstairs in the keep where she was having a heated debate with the drunken dwarf.

"Oghren, I know you are a mighty warrior who fights best with ale in one hand and an axe in the other, but really the nobles will have my head on a pike if you don't sober up just a teensy bit. I love your story telling you know that, but the nobles around here just don't get you like I do." She pleaded to the swaying dwarf who responded with a belch and a crude laugh.

"Aye, I suppose you are right elf." He stated downing the last of his ale and tying the empty canteen to his belt. "But I can't promise anything after duty is done." He giggled despite his heartfelt promise repeating _duty_ under his breath.

The warden commander rolled her eyes and noticed Nathaniel as the dwarf fell over in a drunken haze. Nathaniel held his nose as the smell of liquor and piss overpowered the room.

"Dwarf drunk before sun up again, the keep should really cut off his liquor supply."

Tabris looked about at her wits end as the dwarf was dragged off to his quarters and Velanna stepped in to argue another matter before she could fire off a comment his way.

"Flat ear!" She shouted taking long defined strides to meet with the shorter warden, "What is the meaning of this?"

Velanna throws down what looks to be a journal, the leather binding had intricate designs he had seen among elves before.

"It's a book Velanna." The warden commander clarified jokingly, "Even the Dalish have these."

"It's empty!" She shouted again her palms glowing with an eerie aura.

"Yes so it is. I thought you would enjoy _writing_ in it."

The elven mage seemed taken back at the fact she had been given a gift rather than an insult and picked up the journal from the floor.

"I-I did not realise... Yes I will write stories, something for future elves to look back on..." Her eyes were shinning with unshed tears until the mage realized Nathaniel's presence and left without even a thank you.

"Well my lovely warden commander shall we get a move on?" The blonde male had seemingly been in the room the entire time and flashed their commander a wink as he held the door open.

She sighed and rubbed the dark circles under her eyes, "Yes I think we should; Justice did you want to come along? Oghren is too drunk already."

The sunken spirit nodded his approval and Tabris left, probably assuming Nathaniel would just follow suit.

Which he did.

He rationalized it as needing to keep an eye on the commander and, if the mood strikes him, possibly find an opening to take his revenge.

She hoped up on her midnight stallion effortlessly never allowing a saddle to touch her horse. Which always pleased Velanna who agreed animals should be treated with respect, but being a noble once Nathaniel did not wish to forfeit the comfort of a saddle and reins.

They rode into the morning sun hoping to check on a farm hold before heading into Amaranthine. She preferred answering a letter in person, she explained to him once that it was better to watch a man's face when he asked a favour that way you can only blame yourself if you get caught in a trap weaved by lies.

She led the group with a straight back and alert eyes on the horizon. Meanwhile Anders and Justice did their best, he was sure, to annoy him to the breaking point.

"You know it is not just." The spirit proclaimed nudging his horse into Nathaniel's to catch his attention.

"Oh? And what is so unjust spirit? That I wish vengeance for the murder of my father, just like you wish vengeance against the darkspawn?" He answered bitterly, the warden was out of ear shot but still he willed her to hear him.

"Your father did terrible things, murdered and tortured many good people." Justice pressed on as Anders horse came around the other side, his own horse slowing. "She did what any person would have done in her position."

Nathaniel grit his teeth together, he did not wish to discuss it further.

"If you do not smarten up," Anders started a gleam in his eye as he stared after the commander, "I will have to play the rebound guy." He sighed dreamily, "Not that I'd mind~"

"What do you mean rebound? If she will have you, then go get her. I have no interest in the matter." His anger rose and Anders backed away, nearly falling from his horse as he put his hands up in defeat.

"You lie." Justice growled grabbing the reins from him and forced a fierce look that bore into the young rouges soul. "Humans are so disgusting when they lie."

He threw the reins back at Nathaniel and trotted ahead looking over his shoulder, "Treat her badly again and I will have to punish you myself."

He stared after the decaying rider bewildered.

"He has been like that since he started talking over philosophy with her." Anders chuckled venturing his horse close again. "He is quite attached, as are many of us. I happen to struggle between brotherly affection and animal magnetism, personally."

Nathaniel scoffed, "How wonderful for you."

He tried not to but he did watch her movements out of the corner of his eye. The way her hips swayed in a fluid motion to match the horses stride. The way her smile glowed as she spoke softly to the debate Justice had started with her. How slender and breakable she looked under the tightly worn chainmail and how her unbound golden locks flowed behind her in the wind; even her eyes, the bluest orbs he had ever seen seemed to have everyone around her at the ready to die for her cause.

Not him, he would not fall victim to the sirens call. She was treacherous, and destroyed everything he called home.

"No, not really my friend." His eyes flashed with something Nathaniel didn't recognise then turned back gleaming mischievously, "Just try some of those stoic pick up lines on her. I know you have some; I am not a fool to think you have not bed a woman before. See how quickly she melts at your touch."

"Anders?" He hissed through clenched teeth. "Why aren't you dead?"

"I am _charming_ that's why. You should try it some time."

The mage kicked a heel into his burgundy mare and caught up with the other two. They turned and greeted him as he plucked one of the commander's hands and delicately placed a kiss on her knuckles. He could see the tips of her elegantly pointed ears blaze crimson as she laughed nervously with a smack to Anders shoulder. The mage inclined his head back at the rouge and gave him a wicked wink. Nathaniel refused to let him ruffle his feathers and ignored the scene completely, riding ahead to scout the oncoming path.

Anders could have the little city elf for all he cared. She was nothing but a reminder of his dead father, his crumbled reputation and his tattered life. He had almost gone mad with the knowledge of his family's downfall after returning from the Free Marches with his name worth nothing but glares and hatred over something that was not his fault.

Politics that was the reason for all of this, his father just happened to end up with the short end of the stick. If he had come out on top then he would be a glorified hero like so many others in their bloodline. What did she lose in the blight anyway? A fiancé she had only just met? Oh boo-who. He sighed and rubbed his face, thinking on this now was not going to make anything better.

Darkness and hostility caught his attention as the wind carried ash and the heat of battle. His horse reared up and let out a wail as gunlocks hacked away at a boy attempting to run away. Notching an arrow he punctured the foul beast between the eyes and released a shrill whistle to alert the others behind him of trouble. Not waiting for his companions he leaped off the horse who instinctively knew to find someplace near to hide and picked off another gunlock before an emissary realized they had company.

His arrow had just sunk itself into a darkspawn neck when the others bolted past him Anders holding a barrier around Tabris and Justice as they sprang to the front line. The mage left nothing out of his notice and prevented many blows from touching their companions with effective ice spears, while doing his best to heal every scuff and scratch from a moderate distance.

Nathaniel found higher ground and covered the mage who never seemed to be watching his own back, picking off any ranged opponents that could prove a problem for their group. The small band panted as the commander backstabbed a large Hurlock that tried to catch Justice off guard.

The ground shook slightly in rumbling thumps, pebbles shuddered against the dirt and a roar was made as an ogre charged into view.

"Andrastes knickers!" Anders shouted attempting to paralyze the beast with a rune that had no effect.

Their commander's laugh startled them all as she spun her twin blades effortlessly, "That son of a bitch is mine!"

Justice swept his sword through a group of three shrieks as Tabris vaulted over him and skid between the ogre's legs. The ogre grunted and went to swat the little elf behind him but she sidestepped and sliced a jagged line up his offending arm. Nathaniel shot an arrow into the enraged beast's knee before he could swing his bleeding arm blindly. The commander dug her sword deep into the middle of his back and used it as a foot hold to launch off of before latching onto his horns and burying her second dagger into the ogre's throat. With a final twist of her blade the ogre fell helplessly to the ground, the sickening sound of drowning gasps echoing through the trees.

He marvelled at her as her dismount left her flushed and beaming, the blood from her kill still raining down around her, her chest heaving with the exertion. She was like a dark avenger as she recovered as quickly as her temporary rest ended and she twisted her body into a beautiful parry against an oncoming dagger. She looked up to where he was and smiled and despite himself he returned it.

Somehow he had let her distract him enough to let an enemy arrow spear his chest. He cursed loudly as Anders blasted the archer with a wall of flame and Tabris sprinted over leaving the last enemy to be felled by Justice. He groaned against the pain but did not fall to his knees, blood soaked his armour but the lodged arrow stopped most of the flow.

Tabris's hands flew to her mouth in relief, "I think it missed your vitals." Her palms hovered over the arrow head, but let Anders assess the damage further since she was no healer.

The farm was lost much to Tabris's dismay, all the farmers strung up or gutted along the dirt paths. He watched her turn a cold shoulder to the blazing heat of the sunken in hut and closes the eyes of a dead villager.

"We need to get him someplace he can rest; I need to get that arrow out of him." Anders urged as she reverted her gaze back to Nathaniel.

His sight was nothing less than hazy as he stared back shaking among shallow breaths. He fell to one knee, finally starting to break under the intense pressure building up in his chest.

Was this how she stared down his father as he died? Did she pity his weakened state? He glared up at her as his second knee planted itself helplessly next to the other. He didn't hear the next words that followed, only the feel of Justice hauling him onto a horse and the haunting sight of his commanders pained expression.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean <em>I don't know what I am talking about<em>?"

Was that the commander's worried shout?

"He was in severe pain Kallian, besides he didn't say anything you don't know what he was thinking."

Anders, why did he use her name so familiarly?

"I know what I saw, that man hates me!" He peeled open an eye open and saw Tabris launch herself from a chair across the room to yell at the mage who was calmly trying to settle the elves rage. "That is it! I am transferring back to Denerim, let the Orlesian warden deal with the situation here."

"The woman who rallied an army and sliced the arch demon in two wants to transfer because of a Who, How, When, Whatever?" Anders backed her into the wall slamming his hand next to her head, "I escaped the tower several times because of my stubbornness, and do you think I will let you walk away because of one man too thick headed to see past his hatred?"

He dared no movement as he watched her face crumble and tears stream her cheeks.

"Anders, he looked at me like _I_ shot that arrow. He scoffs at everything I do. I have been striving for that mans approval since I freed him from the dungeons. That one moment, one moment where he actually smiled. Smiled Anders, he _smiled_. And not to sound smug, but he was smiling at me! I could've sworn my heart leaped from my chest, and then because of me he got shot. He looked at me like I was condemning him to my blade."

He couldn't believe his eyes, surely he was dreaming? Her shoulders shook and her face collided with Anders chest, hands over her eyes.

"To be fair Kallian he is fine." He tilted her chin up to look at him, "As much as I would love you swallow you up in my arms, you delicious woman you, I think it would be healthier for you to continue this conversation with him." He looked back and winked at the wide awake rogue. "Now that everything is in the open."

Her body stiffened and she slowly turned to face him, her eyes wide with worry as Anders slipped from the room. She dashed after the door and pounded on the blocked passage.

"No, you two work out your differences, then and only then will I let you out." Anders shouted from the other side.

* * *

><p>Nathaniel grunted as he moved to a sitting position, her body flinched at the sound. Did she fear him? The mighty heroine of Ferelden? Moments passed with her slumped against the door not looking at him, her pouting lips quivering slightly.<p>

"I-" He started then stopped when he saw her steel her gaze against his, her nose scrunching in anger.

She stood suddenly and took long strides over to his bedside and sat with a grace that left him breathless. She leaned over him her blue eyes illuminated, the essence fire and brimstone.

"What is your problem with me? How many times can I say I am sorry? There is nothing I can do about the past, and I am sorry but I would not undo your Father's death if I could go back in time! What I would do is help the people who were most effected by his power hungry ways, I would have reassured the people until I was blue in the face that Rendon was the only Howe to blame!" She took a breath and his silence made her press on. "But none of that matters! Nothing matters to you but my death, your vengeance."

She pulled a dagger and pressed the hilt into his palm.

"So kill me already." She whispered it so lightly he almost didn't hear her.

He raised the blade to her neck and held it there.

The fire never left her eyes; she did not move an inch.

He pressed just enough so that any more pressure would leave a line of blood and still she scalded him with her resolve.

His breath was laboured and he knew it, adrenaline was coursing through him.

He had her life in his hands and with one brilliant flick Nathaniel took what he truly wanted.

The dagger dropped away from him and clamoured against the stone floor. The hilt was replaced with her golden hair looped through his fingers, her gasp against his lips as he smothered her with his compulsive desire. She did not fight him; Tabris splayed her hands against his bandaged chest, careful of the still tender wound. His urging convinced her to let him explore past her lips to taste her more thoroughly.

Nathaniel did not hate this woman, could not hate her, the thought of ending her life left an unrelenting pain that surely would have killed him if he had slit her throat. He crushed her against himself; the only ache he could feel, the only distress on his mind was the need to completely consume her and kiss away her tears.


End file.
